


Just a Kiss

by ddagent



Category: Holby City
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Fix-it, Episode Tag, F/F, Future Fic, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 23:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16753954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ddagent/pseuds/ddagent
Summary: Bernie returns to find a withdrawn Serena Campbell. Fix-it fic for future spoilers.





	Just a Kiss

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Holby City or any of its characters, or its settings - all belongs to the folks at the BBC. If I did, you can be sure as fuck I wouldn't be writing this damn storyline. I'd be introducing Charlotte and tapping into those Stepmum!Serena feels. 
> 
> It's been two weeks now since the first spoilers have come out and it's been utter *hell*. This is my attempt to exert control in the only way I can, and I hope you enjoy it.

The ring box was burning a hole in her pocket.

Bernie had bought it well over a year ago in Paris; a long excursion with the woman she loved through cobbled streets and brightly coloured shops. Serena had paused in the window of the jewellers, admiring the diamond ring. _Reminds me of something my mother used to wear,_ she'd said, and with a squeeze of Bernie's hand they were onto the next shop. Later, whilst Serena slept, Bernie had snuck out and bought it. Even then, barely a year into their relationship, she'd _known._ Now, with their second anniversary behind them, Bernie was no longer sure.

Well, she wasn't sure _Serena_ was anymore.

Bernie had arrived in Holby earlier that day. A surprise visit covering for a change of circumstance, Bernie had intended to take her beloved out for breakfast and then, later that night, a romantic dinner at the Italian restaurant with the extensive wine list. But Serena was avoiding her. Her lips landed on Serena's cheek; fumbled touches that pushed her away rather than pulled her in. A surgery that could _easily_ be performed by Ric _had_ to be tackled by Serena herself. Ducked eyes and darted glances. Serena didn't want to be around her. That much was clear.

Whether that was _today_ or _forever,_ Bernie had yet to determine.

After a brief sojourn to Darwin (and an unexpected consult with her number one fan, Mo Effanga), Bernie took it upon herself to track Serena down and have it out. Donna, not quite meeting Bernie's eye either, directed her to the Peace Garden. A lifetime ago, Bernie had stood and held Serena as she grieved. Now she watched as the woman she loved sat on a bench, knuckles clasped white around the wooden slats; Serena trying her best not to cry. Bernie approached. She crouched in front of Serena, hand reaching out for hers. Serena pulled it back.

Bernie felt that withdrawal harder than if she'd been struck. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Serena shook her head. Her eyes were red and bloodshot; nose damp and skin blotchy. More than anything, Bernie wanted to heal whatever was hurting her. But she feared herself to be the cause. Why else would Serena refuse to look at her? "I can't tell you."

" _Why?_ "

"Because–because—" Serena swallowed. "Because if I tell you, we'll be _done._ And I want to hold onto you for a little while longer." 

For the first time that day, Serena looked at her. Love and affection shone back. But then the light in her eyes dimmed, and Serena's gaze fell to her hands clasped in her lap. A million thoughts raced through Bernie's mind at what was the cause of all this pain. What could have happened to make Serena believe the truth would fracture their relationship beyond repair? Bernie placed her hand on the swell of Serena's knee. Her thumb brushed a crease in the fabric. Whatever it was, it didn't matter to Bernie. But it _did_ matter to Serena.

"You…killed a man." Serena stared. _No._ "You…have decided to go teetotal." A snort. "I know, you've decided you can't hide your attraction any longer and you're running off to France with Ric Griffin." A choked laugh. Bernie was getting closer with her guesses. "Have you…stopped loving me?"

"No _._ " A hand shot out, grasping Bernie's. Serena's eyes were wide; her stare forceful. " _No._ "

 _Well, at least that's something._ A weight lifted from her chest. But a heaviness still rested upon them both. "Have you…fallen in love with someone else?"

Serena opened her mouth; lips fumbling with a thousand different answers. She said none of them. Instead, her gaze fell and her head shook softly. _No._ Not quite. Not yet. Bernie needed to know which one it was. "Serena—"

"— _no._ " Emotion welled in Serena's voice; Bernie could hear the tell-tale bubbling of tears behind her words. "I-I don't. I _mean,_ I _haven't_. I haven't fallen in love with someone else."  

 _I haven't. I don't._ Two very different things. I haven't fallen in love with someone else. I don't _love_ her. Bernie sucked in a breath. There was a chasm of emotion and action between _I haven't_ and _I don't._ Her body sagged as she asked her next question; a statement of fact rather than an interrogation. "But something _has_ happened with someone."

"A kiss."

 _A kiss._ Serena had kissed someone else, or someone else had kissed Serena and she…didn't stop it. Or she'd enjoyed it. A kiss. _Just a kiss_. Serena looked crestfallen; eyes closed shut as she waited for the killing blow upon their relationship. Bernie didn't give it. _Because it doesn't matter._ Looking at the woman she loved, in that moment, Bernie realised it didn't matter at all. When Bernie had been reunited with her husband of twenty-five years after carrying on a six-month affair with another woman, she had not looked like Serena did now. Broken, beaten. In more pain and punishment than she deserved for a momentary transgression.

It didn't matter.

Getting up from her crouched position, Bernie took up the empty space on the bench beside Serena. She looked confused; staring at Bernie as if wondering what the hell she was still doing there. _I'm not going anywhere._

"So," Bernie began, acting as nonchalantly as she believed the situation warranted. "What kind of kiss was it?"

"I'm-I'm sorry _?_ "

"I mean, was it a peck on the cheek?" Bernie demonstrated by leaning forward; lips pressed to the curve of Serena's face. The look in her eyes began to lift. "Or, was it on the corner of the lips?" A gentle brush of Bernie's mouth to Serena's; lips barely touching. "Was it on the mouth?" she whispered.

Serena nodded. "Yes. Bernie—"

"—how long for?"

She blinked. "I–uh–three, maybe four seconds?"

Bernie leant forward and kissed the woman she loved. Serena's lips were soft, tasting of bitter coffee and the chocolate from her breakfast pastry. She groaned into Bernie's mouth as she deepened the kiss; the first proper kiss they'd shared since Serena had visited Nairobi in July. Her pulse raced underneath the pads of Bernie's fingers; her thumb slowly counting time against the inside of Serena's wrist.

_Four, five, six, seven…_

Bernie pulled away, but her hands still cradled Serena's face. She looked into familiar eyes, and didn't speak until that familiar smile finally made an appearance. "I love you, Serena Campbell. It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is _us._ "

The guilt and torment that had been keeping Serena afloat left her in that moment. She deflated against Bernie's side, resting her head upon her shoulder. Bernie played with the strands of silver hair, admiring the lighter colour in front. _Beautiful._ Bernie couldn't blame someone else for being interested. Maybe Fleur hadn't listened to her very _polite_ threats. Perhaps Ric had been dumped by Francois Yeats and fancied Serena as wife number six. It didn't matter, not at all. But Bernie couldn't deny she was curious. "For purely academic purposes, who was it?"

Serena tensed beside her, as if her answer would change Bernie's reaction. "Doctor Faulkner, AAU's new F1."

Bernie did not mean to startle Serena as she laughed. She settled quickly, hiding her snorts behind her hand. "You were worried about _her? Please._ At least Fleur poses an actual threat: she can perform surgery without needing a babysitter."

"You're handling this much better than I thought."

She shrugged. "We've survived worse than you snogging a junior. Me running off to Kiev. Elinor's passing." Serena clutched at the front of her shirt. "The first few months after you left. The Paris catacombs that you _insisted_ we visit…" Bernie trailed off. She looked down at Serena, two fingertips resting underneath her jaw. "It just…doesn't matter. Although, I'd prefer _not_ to work with Doctor Faulkner, all things considered."

Serena peered up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Well, now that I'm unemployed I'd _hoped_ you'd get me some locum work at the hospital…"

"You're… _unemployed._ " Serena scrambled to sit up properly, hands grasping the sides of Bernie's face. "You're coming _home_?"

Bernie nodded. "You're not the only one who's been lonely, Serena. Ten years in the desert and I can barely survive twelve months without you."

Any further comment was cut off when Bernie was suddenly met with a lapful of Serena Campbell. Arms knotted themselves around Bernie's neck; lips met lips in a passionate heat. Bernie slid her hands underneath the warmth of Serena's hoodie and grasped at thin cotton scrubs, desperate to pull Serena closer. _This_ is what their reunion should have been like. Unable to keep their hands off each other; only able to stop kissing long enough to stare at the other in disbelief. _It didn't matter._ They had their perfect reunion now.

" _Hmm-hmm._ _Excuse me._ "

Serena pulled away, giving Bernie an excellent view of the elderly woman with a walking stick who had rather been enjoying the serenity of the Peace Garden until she had come across the pair of them acting like randy teenagers. They did look a state. Serena's hair sticking up at angles; Bernie's lips pink and swollen. Highly unprofessional for two doctors of their calibre. But Bernie didn't care. They just sat, Serena straddling Bernie's thighs, until the old woman passed them by. Serena then descended into giggles against Bernie's neck.

"Probably not the best place to do this."

Bernie smiled. "Agreed. Too many patients."

"And Raf and I buried my mother's ashes over there." Bernie quickly sat up ramrod straight. Feeling up her girlfriend near her mother's final resting place was highly inappropriate.  Although, secretly burying an urn whilst piss-drunk wasn't exactly professional behaviour either. Serena smiled down at her, fiddling with the blonde hair curling around Bernie's ear. Obviously they were meant for each other. "How about we go to _Pulses_ and grab a coffee? We can talk about what comes next."

"Sounds perfect."

After helping Serena smooth down her hair, the pair walked out of the Peace Garden and back into the hospital. _Hand in hand._ As Serena paid for their coffees (and a bacon sandwich; the sound of Bernie's stomach had been heard clear across the foyer), Bernie fiddled in her pocket for the ring box. This was the start of a new chapter in their lives. A time spent in the same house if not the same hospital; as wife and wife if not co-leads. _Together, always._

"What's that you're playing with?" Serena asked as she passed Bernie her coffee and the table number.

Bernie stopped fiddling. "Oh, it's nothing. Just my phone."

Today wasn't the right time after all. But tomorrow, oh _tomorrow._ They had plenty of tomorrows left.


End file.
